Contention

I don't do well with it.  At all.  When my kids fight, it makes me feel all antsy inside.  When someone frowns or says something sarcastic to me, I start to shut down a little.  You know that "Fight or Flight" reflex?  It totally kicks in for me whenever there is contention.  I want to fly and then when I'm away, I seriously shut down. 
Explanation:  I was talking to my mom late last night (after ten), and she was letting me know that Mamaw isn't doing well.  I love my Mamaw, but don't call her near as much as I would like to!  So, I already felt like I wasn't doing enough, and then to find out she wasn't doing well hit me pretty hard!  I posted on Facebook that I was worried about her, and things went crazily downhill from there!  People started asking what was going on and my Aunt was able to tell them.  I didn't see anything until this morning.  Craziness!  Then after church one of my cousins had commented that she was mad that no one had told her.  Commence the shutting down...  I understand that people don't want to be notified about big things on the Internet (I learned that from announcing a pregnancy on there and my sister-in-law getting upset, for good reason).  I knew that Jan and my mom were likely the only ones that knew, since my Mamaw was hiding it, but why do I feel like I'm the one who's being attacked?  It makes me want to not write on Facebook.  Which is silly.  I have feelings and I shared them.  Is that bad? 
So, now I'm somewhat shut down and Ben keeps picking on Emma.  I don't understand it!  Why do people fight over completely STUPID things?  Why don't we just work together and be nice?  All of us should have learned about that growing up, so WHY DON'T WE DO IT???  As a parent, I tell my children all the time to be nice and not fight and try my very best to model that as a parent and future teacher!  So, what is the deal?  Aren't we adults?  Shouldn't we be able to talk things out nicely?  Anyone know and can help me out here?